When people say to take time and enjoy being engaged I want to say "What's there to enjoy?". Let's be real once you get past the initial "Look at me I'm engaged" stage it really gets old. I feel like a child bride and I honestly don't feel like I am ready. But like with many other things in my life I have a feeling this will be something I learn along the way. Things I will have to grow into. I have always been a person who learns through experience, so why would this be any different? The LORD has been and will continue to teach me to be a wife. To be a woman who submits, honors, respects, and loves the mess out of my man.

All I know is that the LORD has been the forefront of this the whole time. I've always been a bit scattered brained and the certainty of this whole union has me scared sometimes. I have lived my life being so afraid of making a mistake that I can't turn back from that it has prevented my ability to really feel and really live.


The LORD has used this relationship to teach me so many things. But one thing I think it has taught me is to really experience and feel things. Helping realize that dreaming and hoping is okay to do. He is healing my heart because he has something significant and wonderful for me. It may not be world changing and it may not be remembered, but it is wonderful.






I pray that you will reveal the desires of my heart.

It is strange when you start to become a we. When you start to consider the thoughts and feelings of another person. I can't exactly say when his opinions began to hold weight in my life, but I see that they do now. Naturally I can be a very selfish person and at first I felt like there was a constant fight in my mind for control. I want things the way that I want them and that's that. But now as I have allowed my heart to open and to trust not only Kyle, but ultimately the LORD I now find myself unfolding. I find my arms open. What is mine is yours, there is no need to stock up and hide emotions in fear of the upcoming storms. I now trust that I am taken care of.

I'm in love and I say that with all the splendor and fear that I can muster. Love is not easy. Love is not free. I see that it very much is a choice and unlike before my heart is now at peace knowing that no matter what the LORD has my heart and after all is said and done that he will not go. There was a time in this relationship where I lost myself, but now having established boundaries and intimate details that I didn't want to with the gent I sense a lightness in my spirit. I feel like things are coming together and there is even more a peace about being with him.

I'm so thankful that the LORD is patient.